Undone
by Write-To-You
Summary: (Cannon divergence thingy for 3x22 3) HR tells Julian about his plan to replace himself with Iris before she dies, and Julian insists on coming along. But if he can manage to talk Caitlin back to the good side, then maybe they have a chance to escape this with no lives lost after all.


**Author's Note: I know! I've been posting so many different one-shot stories, which is super unlike me. I usually just post all the stuff for one pairing in one of my archive-fics or whatever you want to call them. I dunno. I guess I've just been having too much fun with the titles and summaries?**

HR had a plan. It was originally meant to be a secret plan, one only known to himself. But the longer this plan took, the more it felt like he would explode if he didn't tell someone.

He couldn't tell either Cisco or Tracy. They would try and talk him out of it, and at this point, it wouldn't take much, because he knew he was going to die, and who wants to do that? He couldn't tell Jesse, either, because she would tell Wallace, and then Wallace would either insist on coming along (Joe would kill him, if he wasn't already going to die), or tell Joe, who would slip up at some point or other and tell BA. And if _BA_ found out, then _Savitar_ would find out, and it would all be for nothing.

And he _definitely_ couldn't tell Caitlin because, well, she was gone. And working with Savitar.

Still feeling like he was going to burst, HR turned to Julian for help. He found the scientist in Caitlin's old lab, sitting slouched in her old chair and looking at something on his phone.

Julian didn't quite look up with HR entered. "Three pictures, HR." He said quietly. "I've got _three_ pictures of her. And I might not ever be able to take another one."

At first, HR had no idea what he was talking about. Then, "Oh- oh! You mean Caitlin." He nodded vigorously, unsure of what to say. He wasn't very good at love advice- well, he _was_ , but not when the love story was as tragic as Julian and Caitlin's was.

Julian straightened and turned off his phone. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, holding them there for a second before he collected himself enough to drop his arm and face HR.

"Did you need something?"

"I, uh, yes, yes, I needed something." HR said, fidgeting. "So, uh, the reason that Iris is with Savitar right now... that's on me. That's all my fault. And I- I have to make a right."

Julian didn't try to correct him that it _wasn't_ , in fact, his fault, and HR appreciated it. Apparently, Julian was getting first-hand experience in blaming himself, with what had happened after Caitlin flat-lined and all.

"So, um, I- I- I'm going to switch myself out. For Iris."

Julian blinked at him for a moment, frowning, trying to figure out what he meant. "Um... no offense, mate, but I don't think that Savitar is going to mistake you for Iris. You... you don't really look alike."

"Yes, but..." HR held up a small silver device and pressed a button. Immediately, his image (for Julian, anyway) shifted, turning him into a long haired brunette.

Julian's eyebrows rose. "Okay. That... okay."

"Okay?" HR asked, surprised that he was taking this this calmly. "Okay? That's it?"

"You'll go in, get Iris out, and I'll distract them for long enough for you to get out, too." Julian said, shrugging. "Okay. I'll do it. It's better then sitting here."

"What? No! No!" HR shook his head. "No, that's not- no, I'm going to replace myself with Iris. Permanently."

Julian took another moment to register, then he jumped out of his chair. "No! No. I can't let you do that."

"I... I have to do something, Julian." HR said, his face crumpling. "I have to make up for giving Iris' position away."

"HR..." Julian placed his hand on his shoulder. "It was a set point in time. Savitar was going to capture Iris whether you told him she was on Earth 2 or not. If you hadn't done it, he would have found out another way. You don't deserve... Iris wouldn't have wanted you to die for her. Not like this. Not knowing how you'll end up."

HR bit down on his lip, taking a few deep breaths. "Th-Thanks, Julian. I... thanks."

"No problem, mate." Julian awkwardly took his hand back and clasped it with the other one behind his back. "So, uh, what are you going to do?"

"I think that you already figured that out." HR looked up at him with a smile. "Now let's go get BA's great girlfriend back!"

 **Undone-Undone-Undone-Undone-Undone-Undone-Undone-Undone-Undone**

It wasn't hard to find Savitar's lair (they just followed the stolen shard from Savitar's suit, and it let them right to it). It wasn't even hard to get out of STAR Labs without anyone noticing. Everyone was in a frantic bubble of panic. Barry, Wally and Jesse were searching for Iris the city at the speed of light, and Cisco was looking the more computerized, techie way.

HR and Julian crept out of the building, and took Julian's car. It wasn't abnormal for Julian to be away from STAR Labs in the middle of the day; he took his day job much more seriously then Barry seemed to, and would go in to work on case files and write-ups when there was nothing he could do to help, or there wasn't a new metahuman to deal with. HR's car being gone would be much more noticeable.

The lair was surprisingly showy, but then again, it wasn't really. "God of speed... has to have a suitable temple, huh?" Julian muttered as they panted up the steep mountain, pulled along by the suit-shard.

HR seemed too nervous to laugh, focusing on not tripping and unsuccessful calculations of exactly how long it would take them to run back to the car.

"So..." He trailed off, not sure how to phrase the question. "When we get in there..."

"I'll grab Iris, and you put on the face swap, just in case they look over." Julian laid out. "Once Iris is out safe- let's just hope that she doesn't resist, that could make things difficult- Once she's out, though, you need to get out, too."

"What if they come over? To investigate?" HR asked nervously. He had no idea what would happen once they were actually inside the lair. Plans never seemed to go exactly to, well, plan, especially when there were so many variables still up in the air. They didn't even know what the lair _looked_ like. For all they knew, Iris was kept all the way across the room, and they would have to cross it to get to her.

"We're fighting against the god of speed... but we're also fighting against Caitlin. No matter what the rest of you say, she would never kill one of us. There's to much of her left." Julian said firmly.

His faithfulness to the woman he loved was at once incredible and unnerving. HR bit his lip again. "You... you didn't come with me for me, did you? You came here to see if you could save her."

Julian didn't respond, and HR took a shaky breath. Julian didn't need to say anything for him to get his answer.

"Julian." HR grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop. "If it's a choice, between getting out and trying to get Caitlin to come back to us... what are you going to choose? You're going to save yourself, right?"

"I-" Julian swallowed, and shook HR off. "It doesn't matter."

It did matter- it mattered a lot, but HR knew he wasn't going to get a straight answer out of Julian right now. And even if he did... he wasn't sure if it was one that he wanted to hear.

They finally reached Savitar's temple, the shard of suit magnetizing toward the double wooden doors. Julian ran after it, forcing HR to pick up his pace as well so that he wouldn't get let behind. He pulled out his face modulator, laying cold and light in his palm, ready for use at a moment notice. He was no longer sure if Julian's plan was any better then his own. It put yet another life on the line, and that made HR feel sick.

It wasn't just that though. It seemed that Julian was more then willing to risk his life to get Caitlin home. He was fully prepared to put everything on the line to get her to see that they needed her back. That _he_ needed her back. HR wasn't comfortable with how much abandon he had made that choice. He hadn't even paused in consideration before agreeing to go with him. That was either stupidity or an undying faith- HR wasn't sure.

Julian was at the doors already, but HR grabbed his arm and pulled him over to a small vent in the side of the building. "Less conspicuous." He said quietly. "We have no idea what kind of guard system Savitar has set up for that front door."

They crawled through the vents at a painfully slow pace. It was hot and dry, a brittle breeze blowing from some room or another and pushing back their hair.

Julian peered into each grill as they passed them, but all of the rooms seemed to be empty. Abruptly, he stopped. "Wait, look."

HR crawled uncomfortably past him and looked through the grill. "It's her. It's Iris." He breathed.

Julian nodded, and cautiously reached out, popping the grill out of it's slot and pulling it back into the vent. Carefully, the two of them hopped down, small thumps reverberating through the mostly silent room.

Voices filled the corridor, and HR froze on his path toward Iris, who had looked up and seen them by now. Julian hid himself behind a large storage crate and held his breath.

"The repairs on your suit should be done soon." A familiar, feminine voice, strangely doubled, said. "All I had to do connect a few off the-"

"Good." Another familiar voice, deep and growly, cut her off. "You are ready for your task, Frost?"

Julian swallowed, resisting the urge to look over the crate. Just a glimpse of Caitlin. That's all it would take- white hair or not- to break his resolve of staying silent and hidden. He couldn't give up his position, because it would put both HR and Iris in danger, and he wouldn't be the person to destroy the chances of their mission.

HR had begun silently crawling towards Iris again. She was trying to warn him away, shooting terrified glances at the metas and then back at him. Soon, HR was at her side, unfastening her chains and shoving her toward Julian. He pressed the button on his face modulator, and suddenly there were two Iris' in the room.

Iris stared at him, shaking her head, but HR was having none of it. He held up his modulator to her chin and Iris transformed into HR's image.

She gave up resisting and began to hurry toward Julian, as quickly as she could without attracting any attention. Julian grabbed her as she reached him, and helped her to the grate. "Get out of here." He whispered, voice low and commanding in her ear.

"What about you?" Iris resisted.

Julian just shook his head, and pushed her to the grate. " _Go_."

She ran, and Julian turned back to HR, who was huddled where Iris had just been. HR shot a nervous glance over at Frost and Savitar, who were now completely in the room, and mouthed, _Leave_.

Julian ignored him, slowly peeked over the top of the crate. Neither of the metas were looking, so he gestured vehemently with his hand, urging HR to get out with him.

As he moved his hand, his elbow somehow hit the side of the crate, and tingles shot up his funny bone. Julian winced from the pain, and then froze, the thump sounding much louder then he thought it had in the now complete silent room.

HR's face was frozen in horror, and Julian didn't have to time to hide or even _breathe_ before Savitar was flashing around the crate and dragging him up by the neck. Before he could blink, he was in the open middle of the room, feeling like his head had left his body behind. His muscles screamed in protest as Savitar tightened his grip on his neck, and Julian scrabbled at the hand blocking his airway, chocking for breath.

His eyes locked with Frost's, who was standing a few feet away. There was no emotion on her face, just a blank expanse of icy unfeeling that made his heart clenched.

He looked away, to HR, trying to tell him with his eyes that this was the distraction he needed to get out. Julian couldn't mouth anything without the metas noticing, but he dipped his chin in the tiniest of nods. HR's face was a twisted mask of uncertainty and sadness as his resolve broke and he began to crawl toward the exit.

Savitar's suit was hanging on the wall. It looked mostly normal, save for a few broken pieces of armor that were lying on the ground underneath it.

 _"_ _The repairs on your suit should be done soon."_ Frost had said. Savitar needed her to fix his suit. But take her out of the picture, and he wouldn't have his suit.

The future would change.

It was strange to be back on that line of thinking. Team Flash had mostly moved away from changing what Barry saw in the future to save Iris, but Julian supposed that, once you started obsessing over the future, it was hard to stop.

"Frost..." Savitar said in a low whisper. "You know what you have to do."

"What's that?" Julian choked out, struggling against the hand at his neck. "Kill- us? Kill your- friends?"

"They are not your friends!" Savitar yelled, squeezing tighter. "They abandoned you."

"We would- never abandon- you." Julian fought even harder, trying to catch Caitlin's eye. She wouldn't look at him. "Caitlin- I- I love- you."

He had said once already, and it took more bravery then he knew he had to say it again. Frost's gaze snapped up to meet his, and her eyes slid- just for a moment, almost so fast that Julian thought he had imagined it- from blue to brown and back again.

Savitar saw it, too, and his gaze darkened angrily. "Frost. Kill him."

Frost gritted her teeth and took a step back. She raised her hands, ice pooling from her fingertips, and shot a blast at Julian.

Shock and betrayal filled his blood and Julian squeezed his eyes shut tight, waiting for the death blow to hit him.

Instead, a burning cold flared in his arm. Julian cried out, eyes flying open to find an encasement of ice around his bicep. Savitar growled. "You may want to check you aim... or your _loyalties_."

He tossed Julian to the ground and advanced on his former partner. Caitlin took a step backward before her gaze steeled into anger and she held her hands up again. "Take another step and I swear, I'll kill you."

It was the most violent thing that Julian had ever heard come out of Caitlin's mouth before, and he shuddered at the brutal fury she had in her eyes. "Don't- Caitlin-"

In seconds, Savitar had him up against the wall with a vibrating hand, poised at his heart. "Frost... I don't believe you know what you're doing."

"I know _exactly_ what I'm doing." Caitlin hissed. Julian saw her eyes, now completely brown, and a surge of hope caused an anvil-weight to lift from his chest. "I know that you are hurting the man I love, and I know that I'm not going to let you do that _ever again_."

"You make a move, my hand goes through his heart." Savitar said in a low, threatening voice. The terrifying thing about it was that Julian had no doubt he would go through with the threat.

Caitlin knew it, too, and she wavered slightly. Julian met her gaze. "Do it." He said.

Ice coated Savitar's back in a second and he let out a howl of pain. Julian dropped to the floor, but it wasn't long before the speedster began to vibrate, steam rising off him in plumes.

He zipped off, around the room, and Caitlin tried to follow him with her blasts of frost. He was too fast, however, and soon Julian was being torn from the ground again and used as a body shield.

Caitlin stopped in her tracks, centimeters away from shooting another blast of frost. Savitar raised his hand again, holding it to Julian's heart.

For the second time in the last few minutes, Julian shut his eyes tightly, waiting for the blow that would end his life.

Instead, there was a sickening crunch, and he was dropped to the floor. He slowly opened his eyes, and found Iris -the real Iris- standing over the now-unconscious Savitar with a metal rod in her hand, smiling with grim satisfaction at his limp form.

Just before Julian passed out- from pain or relief he wasn't sure- his blurry vision caught Caitlin hovering over him. He felt lips brush his own, barely touching them, just enough to undo his entire existence and build it back up again in a single moment.

Lips buzzing and arm numb, Julian watched as everything slowly faded to black.

 **Undone-Undone-Undone-Undone-Undone-Undone-Undone-Undone-Undone**

Julian woke up back in the Cortex, in the medical bed. He thought, at first, the his limbs were taking a very long time to follow suit in waking up, but then he realized that it was just is left arm. It was entirely numb.

Looking over, Julian blinked at the white gauze wrapped around his bicep. It reminded him of waking up in the hospital after he had been kidnapped by Killer Frost, and that in turn reminded him of what had happened. And of...

 _Caitlin_.

Julian opened his eyes, and found Cisco staring, rather alarmingly, down at him. Julian startled backward. "Um... hi."

"Hi!" Cisco grinned. "Glad to see your awake. How do you feel?"

"Numb." Julian said honestly, trying to rotate his shoulder and finding he couldn't move it. "Where's Caitlin?"

"Well, isn't that the question of the year." Cisco snarked. "No, I'm kidding, she's waiting in the hallway."

A fluttery sort of warmth shot into Julian's chest, and he tried to fight the grin spreading across his face. He had done it. He had brought her home.

"I'm sure you want to know about your arm." Cisco continued, ignoring any sort of reaction to his news and answering the question that Julian hadn't _actually_ been about to ask. "Normally, I would be worried. Like, amputation worried. But! I happen to know a girl who happens to know some other people who happen to have a ship that happens to have futuristic tech that happens to include a limb regeneration machine, so I think that you'll be ok! I'm going to keep the area numb until I can get in contact with the Waverider- couple days, tops, they love me- and then you are good to go."

"Uh... thanks?" Julian said, not quite sure if he was following correctly. Just as long as he didn't have to live with one arm for the rest of his life, he was good.

A couple minutes later, Julian managed to get rid of Cisco with many thanks, and Caitlin came into the room. She looked uncomfortable, like she wasn't used to being in her own skin. Like she didn't belong in it.

Julian sat up, using his good arm to push himself upright. "Hey." He said quietly, taking a breath and taking her in. "I'm really glad you came..." He stopped himself from saying home just in time, and the sentence dropped off uncomfortably.

"Julian... I'm so- I'm so sorry." Caitlin whispered, biting her lip. "No matter how hard I try, everything I do to _not_ hurt you just ends up hurting you."

"Don't blame yourself for this." Julian insisted, swallowing. "I was the one who pulled off your necklace. All of this... it's on me, Caitlin. Okay? It's on me."

She didn't agree, but she didn't argue, so they dropped the blame game and sat in silence for a moment. Finally, Caitlin looked up again. "Were you... were you coming to rescue Iris?"

It was a strangely phrased question, but Julian knew all-too-well what she meant. "I- no. No. I was never there to rescue Iris. I was there for you, Caitlin. I knew that if I could just see you- one more time- that I could bring you ho- that I could bring you back to, um, STAR Labs." His cheeks flushed and he looked down.

"You were right." There was a smile in Caitlin voice when she spoke, and it made Julian glance up. "You brought me home."

How she had the bravery to say the word 'home' was beyond him, but he appreciated not having to do it.

Julian started to grin. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess I did, didn't I?"

Caitlin slipped onto his bed and curled into his side. She didn't need to say anything.

 **Author's Note: How I keep coming up with different conversations that have to do with the same plot point is beyond me.**

 **REVIEWS ARE LIFE AND LOVE AND LONG-LIVE-THE-WRITER!**


End file.
